smiling a sad smile

The cold rainy weather matches my mood right now. This has been a pretty tough week and a half. Just over a week ago Jake's sister brought her sweet baby boy, (who is only about 5 weeks older than Xander) to the hospital for what was perceived to be pneumonia. His poor little lungs were so full of fluid and keep filling up. They are still in the hospital. The doctors keep doing tests trying to figure out what is going on with the little guys body. It seems each test shows new problems. As of now the diagnosis is an extremely rare disease that has only been recorded 200 times in all of its history. This means there is no known cure and they really don't know much of anything.
I just can't perceive the heartache, sadness and emotional roller-coaster my sister-in-law and her husband are going through right now.
I look at my babies and just hold them so tight. I have to remind myself, for how much I love them, Someone loves them even more (if that's fathomable) and I am only temporarily borrowing them. They are only here for a visit, however long that may be. Although it does no good to question the why in any situation, it sure is hard not to go there.
It makes me take a step back and look at daily life under a whole new microscope. Makes me realize how many things don't matter. So what if Kaleb is pulling the Tupperware out AGAIN and shoving his toys under the fridge AGAIN and a miriade of fun toddler things that he does on a daily basis. I'll remind myself he doesn't do it just to bug me. The house may be a mess but that's okay because my boys are learning how to throw and catch a ball and how to sit up unassisted. I may be sleep deprived but these babies sure do make it worthwhile. I am so blessed to have them to love and take care of.
If you don't mind me asking some special prayers for baby Jesse and especially his mom and dad that they may feel peace and comfort during this stormy time in their lives. May we pray for the miracle but also feel the warm arms of God wrapped around us to know He is taking care of everything, whatever happens, it's in His hands and He will make it all right.
It's frustrating when I want to do everything or anything, yet I can do nothing. What I can do though is go hug and love these little guys...

and find time to smile and laugh at their crazy messes...