Not So Busy

I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately being a stay-at-home mom. Jake has been really busy with school. Most days he is gone for 12 hours, at least. It has been tough keeping my motivation up. Especially since the 3 year old has entered a terrible stage of serious fits. He wines and screams about everything. We seem to be really butting heads lately. I have been immensely blessed to be able to calmly deal with these fits. Calm doesn't happen all the time, but, I have been handling everything pretty well. On the especially tough days I find myself starting to  questioning why I chose to be not only a wife but especially a mother. I start bemoaning about 'what's in it for me?'
One night while writing in my journal I had a serious talk with myself and some profound self reflection. Most of you are mothers so maybe I'll share some of my thoughts with you:
Here's the infomercial bit :-)
Do you think maybe what you do at home is insignificant in the big scheme of things? Perhaps you feel that you could better serve the Lord if you could be doing something else, something that seems more important? Maybe at times you secretly long for something with more recognition, and maybe even some pay?
Well, what if I told you that you are deceived when you think like that?
Do you know that your pay is actually uncountable? The impact that you have on all your future generations cannot actually be tallied! That payoff is ever-lasting and eternal, unlike an actual paycheck. Serving your family is the most significant thing that you can ever do with your life. Not only is the pay eternal, but the impact is far more powerful than any career, and the recognition is noticed and appreciated by the King of Kings! Your submission to His will is of the highest value. He loves the example you set as a loving wife and mother. He loves how you teach your children His ways. He loves how you meet your husband's needs.  Your reward will be massive, dear mother, in this day and the next! In fact, all throughout eternity. If you are "just" a stay at home mom, be proud and grateful. Not all are as blessed as us.

Sorry for all that blah-blah-blah, it has been one of those really tough days. I was just going to post some pictures and call my blog done for this month but that all came out instead.
Now that I got that out, on to what I was actually going to post about:
I got the pictures off my cell phone and found a few fun treasures. These ones were from September 11th. The college campus was decorated with flags. I think it was 1 flag per 10 people who died. I took the kids up to see it. It was quite the site.

We have an awesome local park - It's just up the block. It's the most popular park in town. Sometimes lots of people isn't so fun. I recently ventured out to discover a secluded park. It's an old school one with two swings, a tall metal slide and a merry-go-round!

The boys got matching bow ties. I need to get some shirts that will work with the ties. Breahna has a dress that matches their bow ties but it ended up being closer to a 12-18 month size.

You don't realize having three kids means you are outnumbered ... until you try to take all three on a long walk...that's where things get tricky when all three decide they are tired and need to ride. I usually carry Breahna but that can also get tiring.

Good thing the boys don't mind holding their sister ... although it never lasts long "she's too wiggly!"

Our biggest struggle lately is a certain 3 year old. I don't know where the idea of terrible two came from because it's really the three year old that pushes my buttons.

I have been really working on killing him with kindness and love. There are some serious stressful moments that I just want to smack him and lock him in a room (can I admit that? he hehe he)

It probably doesn't help that he no longer gets a nap. The only days that we could work a nap in are Tue and Thursday. But, he always fights tooth and nail screaming that he's not tired and there's no way he's taking a nap...

...nope, not tired at all
And then, there are moments that he melts my heart:

I love this kid bunches and bunches but lately it has been hard to like him.
Alexander picked up our camera one day and took a lot of pictures of everything. He did pretty good! I refuse to show most of them; then you'll know what I'm really doing when I'm "folding laundry" :-)
This is one he took of Breahna:

We've got a serious Star Wars infatuation around here. (in fact, I need to get on the ball and make a few Jedi robes for Halloween, and I'm sure not for Halloween)
We enjoy many light saber fights. Alexander is very serious about his light saber fighting. Sometimes it takes good high heel boots :-)

but it always requires serious grunts, groans, and stances:

Breahna discovered two new loves:
Swings:

and a funny baby in the mirror:

This past weekend we drove nearly 1,100 miles in not quite 48 hours. We were able to go spend some time with family at grandmas Stevens funeral.
At 91 years old grandma Stevens passed from this mortal existence. I am so grateful for her and the legacy she left with her kids and grandkids. I am grateful the boys were able to know her at least a little bit. After 70 years of marriage I can't imagine grandpas heartache at now being all alone here on Earth. I am grateful for our eternal family and to know we will see grandma again.

It was a beautiful funeral. I'm really glad we went. Jake and I (with another aunt and uncle) even sang! Grandma and grandpa's wedding song was Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree. I don't sing unless it's hymns with everyone at church so this was a new experience. It felt a bit slow but I think it went well.
One of the nice things about funerals is being able to see all the family:

Breahna got to meet her great-grandpa Stevens 

Spending only a full day with family was for sure not enough time but it was still fun.

We're just hanging out trying to be patient with each other and learn important concepts like sharing and gratitude. Alexander requires constant entertainment and attention. I've exhausted my ideas of fun things to do so if you have any ideas please share!

Until next time I get around to blogging